From Varanasi to Classy, Hotel Isabell Palace

Guesthouse touts at 6am after a night on the train are never a welcome reality, but over the years I have learned that sometimes they do bear fruit. What seemed nice here was that they actually let each other speak and did not treat you as their prize the moment they had made eye contact. I agreed to follow the chap from the place I was going to stay anyway and jumped into an auto for the trip to town. Immediately outside the station, all of the departing traffic ground to a halt at the level crossing, engines puttered out and the friendly guesthouse banter began again. This time I was shown a brochure for a hotel that looked new, clean, cosy, high tech; this was somewhere you might chose to stay in real life. The pictures depicted, dazzling white walls, tall ceilings, teak furniture, fairy-lit balconies, and he told me ..."very cheap, just come look madam". I asked my driver to take me there for a "look". The rooms were as described, marble balconies billowed from every window and a garden with green grass and beautiful flowers lay beneath them but, oh dear, no, not very cheap. 
"This room is 900 rupees madam"

"oh I am so sad my friend, I travel long time in India, I have budget, not possible for me to stay" I looked sad.

"Maybe 600 then madam?"

I cast my eyes back onto the white balcony and the rising sun beyond it and looked sad again.

"what you pay then madam?"

"my budget 300"

"Ok 400"

"Not OK 400, my budget 300"

"Oh madam make hard for me this good hotel very cleanly"

I looked sad

"OK madam for you nice madam 350"

I brightened my face "Oh very kind my friend for nice hotel 350 is good price for me thank you my friend"

It is almost wrong what I am paying. I mean its so classy that the plug sockets snugly fit your appliances, there is no need to build a tower of stuff to support the phone charger, the floors are cleaned several times a day and they make food exactly how you ask for it (they even let me teach them how to do poached eggs because they had never heard of cooking eggs without oil!). The obligatory team of twenty something house boys are a bit in your face but so damn lovely and smiley its great. I unfortunately threw up the lovely lunch I had in town yesterday, but because I came back to this little gem of a place I was able to cuddle up in bed watching Nicholas Cage and Sean Connerey in English on a flat screen, in fact I was enjoying it all so much that I asked if I could stay on for New Year but unfortunately unless I paid 1000 I couldn't stay any more than the two nights I had agreed upon. Fair enough, peak season and all that. I have seen the Karma Sutra orgy carvings that I came here for anyway so to Orccha I go, which is apprently even more laid back!