Tenderized Passengers in a coach infused exhaustion fry ...a recipe

·         After sunset, take a tiny, 15 year old Micra-like Tata car with no padding left on the seat and tenderize the passengers in a four hour taxi ride over mainly unpaved roads.

·         During the tenderization, create an even coating of grime by opening all windows and injecting wood-smoke, dust and acrid burning plastic fumes at regular intervals to ensure consistency of discomfort

·         Fold the passengers into their second night on the train in under a week ensuring that the route out of Guntakal is insufficient for a real night’s sleep

·         Marinade the tiredness in the fact that both passengers have precarious stomachs

·         Flash fry in a highspeed minivan, whilst Bangalore is strirring

·         Very Quickly add all of the ingredients to a Premium AC Coach and allow to infuse gently for six hours via Mysore and up into the Western Ghats

·         Drizzle with a taxi through single track lanes and garnish with a sprinkling of hilltops

…and you’re ready to be served up as the new arrivals at Rainforest Retreat, a fascinating organic spice and coffee plantation which nestles in three forested valleys at 1100m.